The newspaper of the house of the Egg Maternity ' is about to unfold again .... here is a preview ... the theme? Expectations ...
Years ago, 'I felt that everyone was expecting something from me and I them. I felt I could give my all when I did something I expected and all the others gave themselves when they did something. In this absurd mechanism
wondered to myself a lot at school, at work, as daughter, wife and was wondering how much to others, my parents, my husband, even to my friends!
The weight of these roles has made me live for a very long time "in a balance over the madness." As long as' is not born Riccardo.
The arrival of our first child has destabilized that 'balance over the madness. " With him are already beginning 'to feel an incredible weight on his shoulders! All those requests made to me themselves and others buzzed in my ears and mind. I felt that support the role of the perfect mother cracked the walls of the fortress I had built and protected me ... But we could still do ... With only one child ... there could still be done ... with the Margherita, the second, the balance was beginning to show signs of deep subsidence, with Marianna, the third ... Well I had to learn to change a lot!
Go to the groups of mother and baby Maternity House 'helped me a lot to reconsider all the expectations imposed on myself and to others. It helped me a lot of sharing fees that I had set ... who knows 'because it'? ... The group helped me a lot to silence those voices ... I and asked that I judged ... and that I would be scolded if I was not a perfect daughter, perfect friend, a perfect wife and perfect mother. The groups
Lidia drove our outbursts, accepted for who they were ... outbursts of ... without trial ... sometimes even without advice ... would not be served ... and an outlet 'a vent ... often simply an end in itself! Groups could leave out the roles and finally feel the silence and look inside ... in the heart ... so 'so' as I was ... so 'as they are. With my faults, my fears, my anger ... my emotional knots ... without feeling the need to prove something ... who knows 'because it'.
And in my turn, listening to other mothers, I learned to understand that each has its limits and that loving someone does not depend on this when / to meet your expectations, and that I should not meet the expectations of someone to earn his love ... love goes beyond: beyond the expectations and judgments and expectations and judgments are just a game of mind, probably influenced by other things outside of the heart, likes to give us a try ... maybe to test our love for others!
So I am here again after months more than I open this page in the web. This space is not 'been closed and in fact I continued to read the comments I came ... glad ... you know ... someone had not noticed my absence ...
So much has happened in these months!
doubts and sorrows, joys and frustrations ... new directions and other abandoned ...
My grandmother Matilda left this earth to move in the dimension of the angels ... I failed to arrive in time to feel the warmth of his hand and say hello and look into their eyes. I hope to one day forgive me. Now I still can not ...
I look at the ferns in the garden grow ...
unroll their sprouts leaf
and I imagine that you are sitting there with me ... caress me as when I was little and tell me ... Marinin! Marinin are here ... I know there '... with me. When I remove the weeds dall'orticello and when I pick up the coast to eat, when choosing flowers for the pots and when I do the wind, the amazing New Zealand ... There she '... and 'in the wind and ferns, in the land and sea that smells of salt ... you and 'them, I know ...
For her I went back to Italy ... I re-embraced almost everyone. I found friends not seen in years and I have enjoyed the warmth of my parents, my sister and my future son in law! It seemed that I had not ever match ... love and 'so' ... when you really love ... we love with the defects and qualities ... and is' over ... the heart and 'over ... beyond expectations ...
